Greetings, brave souls of Bangalore.
Let’s face the truth: Bangalore traffic is not a part of our life; it is our life. A 5 km commute in Bangalore would make tirth yatris feel like they’re on a luxury tour. The solution to the problem actually requires a massive mentality shift on how Bangalore forces you to be your most productive self. So pack your pollution masks, charge your phones, and let’s begin the survival guide. 💪
Wake up early, I mean really really early!
Did you know that the New York Times bestseller The 4AM Club was actually written to inspire Bangaloreans to wake up early—just so they could beat the traffic? (Just kidding, of course.)
Anytime between 8:30 and 11:30 in the morning are considered peak hours—peak hours of frustration. So, you’re better off waking up early and soaking in that Vitamin D while you commute. 😉
Carpooling and networking
If you’re tired of traveling like a kebab between smelly, hot, sweat-soaked bodies on tortoise-paced public transport with stops that seem strategically inconvenient, then carpooling is the way to go!
Here’s the deal: You might find yourself stuck in traffic with someone who could end up being your next coworker, client, or best friend (depending on how much you talk about traffic). I once gave a referral to one of my carpool buddies, and guess what? They ended up joining my company! It’s like LinkedIn, but with less professionalism and more sweat.
Bangalore’s traffic has the uncanny ability to turn introverts into networking pros—whether we welcome it or not!
Pro tip: Use apps like Quick Ride to find your carpool crew. Just be prepared to make small talk about traffic for the entire ride. It’s the Bangalorean way.
The journey
Okay, I see you woke up early and found your not-so-comfortable seat in a bus or car. Now you must optimize your time during the journey.
If it’s a short 20-minute ride—take a power nap or catch up on the news.
If your ride takes 40 minutes to an hour—attend your scrum, reply to your emails so people think you’re already in the office and have started working.
If your ride takes 1–2 hours—surrender to the podcast gods. Andrew Huberman bhaiya will help you regulate your emotions by recommending various supplements. I bet he has one specifically for Bengaluru traffic. Sir Lex Fridman may come across as saintly, but I’m sure Bengaluru traffic would drive him mad. And finally, listen to Joe Rogan dada explain why Bengaluru will never be attacked by aliens—because even they wouldn’t be able to navigate through it.
If your ride takes more than 2 hours—you’re better off sleeping at your office. Why even consider going home?
I used to listen to Joe Rogan 5 days a week while commuting (read: crawling through traffic), and now I’m an alien species expert, just waiting for the day I can ditch the corporate grind and start a gig at Area 51.
You can always blame google maps
Imagine opening Google Maps to check how long it’ll take you to get somewhere. It says 20 minutes, so you head out on time. But halfway through, this dumb app decides to add an extra 30 minutes without warning 😭. If you rely on Google Maps, you’re never going to be on time—you’ll either be way too early or far too late. I’ve developed serious trust issues with this app.
But here’s the silver lining—it’s a blessing in disguise. Late to the office? Blame Google Maps. Late to a date? Google Maps again. Late to a football game? Yep, you guessed it; blame Google Maps. I never have to come up with any other excuse.
Conclusion
In the meantime, brace yourself, adapt, and remember that every moment in Bangalore traffic is a chance for self-improvement—until the metro finally arrives, that is.